


a good and timely divergence

by inverse



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, M/M, i just don't know okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2013-10-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 23:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inverse/pseuds/inverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>fujimaki doesn't ship aoaka as much as i do. either that, or he can't figure out their power levels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a good and timely divergence

**Author's Note:**

> written for bps challenge 40, humour/crack.

It was their last year of high school. After three long years, Rakuzan High and Touou High finally met at the finals of the Winter Cup. Both Aomine and Akashi had played the rest of the Generation of Miracles and proved victorious, but they had never competed against each other. God only knows why they didn’t just ask each other out for a one-on-one. Anyway, it was finally time to determine who the best Skittle of all time was.

“Daiki,” Akashi said, jacket still floating commandingly on his shoulderblades, which seemed to be carved from the most delicate porcelain by the world’s finest craftsmen. The jacket was flapping enticingly in the wind, even though the match was held in an airconditioned indoor stadium and there was no wind to speak of. “It is down to the two of us. We will finally fulfil the purpose of the Oath. But I will win. Because I am absolute.”

“Ha,” Aomine laughed. “The Oath was kind of stupid, but yes, we will find out today. The only one who can beat me is me, so you will lose.” He was standing arms akimbo, with the authoritative aura of a thousand lions and tigers and black panthers and other big cats. On his jersey was a huge, red No. 4. Yes, Aomine had become the captain of Touou Basketball Club and all his juniors swooned in his 1337 and hax basketball presence. The author knows he has no leadership skills whatsoever and can’t take care of himself, let alone an entire basketball team. But this is a crack challenge and she can write whatever she pleases, and Captain Aomine is a pretty nice image, no?

So much for digression. The two teams stood facing each other as the stadium vibrated with palpable tension. Then—

“Uh, wait a minute,” said the referee, right before he was about to blow the whistle, as if struck from above by some holy divine thought. “Fujimaki-sensei says he doesn’t know how to write this match.”

“What?” Akashi snapped. Lightning bolts shot out of Aomine’s eyes, because he was so angry and went into the Zone immediately, or something.

“He says he made you guys too powerful. Because one of you always wins and the other doesn’t lose, he doesn’t know who he’s going to declare the winner. It would be a pain in the ass to think of an ending, let alone write the entire thirty chapters of this match, so he doesn’t want to. And regardless of who loses, hordes of fangirls will be out for blood anyway, so he’s going to end the manga here.”

Both Akashi and Aomine were lost for words. Their huge, huge egos were not used to being treated in such a diminutive manner. Up in the bleachers, the rest of the Generation of Miracles and Kagami were laughing themselves silly. For a model, Kise looked really ugly when he was laughing. Kuroko had choked on his vanilla shake in glee and Murasakibara was thumping his back empathically, or as empathically as he could manage, anyway. Kagami, being the maji tenshi that he was, was trying to hold it back as much as he could, and Midorima stroked the head of his lucky item – a Kyubey plushie – and cackled a bit.

Akashi turned back to regard Aomine with his beautifully cold yet fiery heterochromatic eyes. “It is regrettable that things have come to this, Daiki,” he said, his steely façade hiding a complexly tortured inner core. “But the author is right. We can just play a game by ourselves. I am ashamed that this idea did not come to me sooner.” Then his voice turned low and husky, and you know where this is going, “My chauffeur will come and pick you up tomorrow.” It’s out of character but nobody cares, least of all me.

“Prepare yourself, Akashi,” Aomine replied, eyes gleaming, but he didn’t say what for, so feel free to let your imaginations run wild.

Then they went to [record their own BLCD](http://okitasouchan.tumblr.com/post/49340464606) (listen with earphones on please, especially if you’re in public). You’re welcome. Like Fujimaki, I didn’t know how to end this either. Thanks for reading.


End file.
